Making mistakes/Heeding your inner voice

We all know that real growth comes from making and learning from mistakes, so why is it so darn difficult to admit to having made them??? For me, it’s a combination of my perfectionist tendencies and caring far too much about what others might think of me for <gasp> not being perfect. I also struggle with having let other people down when I make a mistake.

Some of the biggest mistakes I have made have occurred when I failed to take sufficient time to reflect on what _my_needs were in a particular situation. Instead of listening to my inner voice, I succumbed to my people-pleasing tendencies and chose to do something that, quite honestly, was not in my own best interest. I can clearly remember my inner voice screaming, “This is not right for you. Don’t do this!” while the hands of people pleasing and not rocking the boat clamped tighter and tighter around my throat. And, as I continue to make mistakes, I can’t help but think that I should know better “at my age.” However, I am choosing to take the opportunity to learn from my mistakes.

I have always maintained that a day has been well spent when I have learned something, broadened my horizons in some manner. Whether it’s incorporating a newly-discovered word into my vocabulary, identifying a new (to me) bird and reading up on it, happening upon and then researching an interesting fact while reading about something else entirely, I love to learn something new every day. Learning is key to growth and change, and knowledge is power, right?

But what about knowledge of oneself? What about learning about this person who acquires knowledge and is (hopefully) continually growing and changing? Taking time for yourself to be with that knowledge and acknowledge those changes is critical, and yet many of us feel that it is too hard or self indulgent, depending on your personality type. Writing/reflecting in a journal allows you to express yourself and explore how you feel about anything and everything. Meditation allows you to sit, breathe, and shut out as much external noise as possible. I am learning that the longer I go without exercising either of the above-mentioned tools, the more muted my “voice” becomes and the more mistakes I make. When I return to those practices, the better I feel about the decisions I make.

When you feel like you need more ways to explore and develop your inner voice, you can always work with a coach to talk things through and truly be heard. Working with a coach (like me!) can help clarify and strengthen your true voice and make better decisions.